我的老屁友 My Old Ass(2024)中英字幕

　哦 不！Oh, no!,露西 不用怕 我开得并不快Ruthie, you're fine. I'm not even driving that fast.,生日快乐 小贱人！今天是她生日！It's your birthday, bitch! It's her birthday!,你现在成年了 你的屁股都合法了You're legal now. Now you got legal butt cheeks.,天啊 罗 你不能说这种话Oh, my God. You can't say shit like that, Ro.,好吧 我们得停在这让你去追女孩了Oh, now we gotta stop here so you can get with some,,-随便哪个女孩都行呗 -是啊-like, random girl, but whatever. - Yeah.,她不是随便的女孩She's not some random girl.,我们从八年级就开始暧昧了We've been, like, flirting with each other since fucking grade eight.,我至少得表白一次再走I gotta at least shoot my shot before I leave.,要是成功了 你就把镇上的女孩都泡遍了Hmm, if this works, you've officially gotten every girl in town.,-所有女孩都追过 -没错-Every single girl. - That's true.,不是那样的 不是真的That's not true. That's not true.,天哪！真抱歉- Oh, shit! I'm-I'm so sorry.,操 对不起- Holy shit. -I'm so sorry.,你没事吧？我脖子还在吗？- Are you okay? - Is my neck still there?,没事的 你没事 没事No, you're good, you're good, you're good.,我会坦白告诉她 我三周后就走I'm gonna be honest and I'm gonna tell her I'm leaving in three weeks.,要是发生点什么...If that leads to us banging...,那就是天意...that must have been God's plan.,这不是我能控制的 懂吗？That's out of my hands, you know what I mean?,慢点 你得慢点- Oh! -You gotta slow down. You gotta slow down.,老兄Bro.,抱歉 我习惯了开船I'm sorry, I'm like, I'm so used to driving boats,船是这样开的 不是这样转手腕的that drive like this, not this twisty wrist shit.,你该去考个船驾照了Maybe you should actually, like, get your boating license.,露西 我八岁就会开重型机械了I've been operating heavy machinery since I was eight, Ruthie.,你确定...天啊！- Are you sure... Oh! -Oh, shit, sorry.,你知道...- You know... -,是个好主意 帮忙拉进来-...it's an idea. - Help me pull it in. Pull it in.,船驾照根本不是真东西I don't think boating licenses are, like, a real thing.,就是走个形式It's like a formality.,你们拉住了吗？好- You guys got it? Okay. - Yeah.,拉住那边的绳子Okay, grab that rope at the end.,天呐Oh, my gosh.,刚才简直命悬一线Life and fucking death experience right there.,老天爷-Christ. - Okay.,到了 该上了-Made it. - It's go time.,你还活着 去吧You're alive. You got this.,祝你玩得开心- Have fun in there. - Thank you.,注意安全 小子 记得戴套You be safe, kid. Wrap it up.,天 我背痛死了- Oh, bitch, my back is thrown. -Oh, my God.,是啊 我的脖子也是I know. Like, my neck.,他们就是医学奇迹 对吧They're, like, they're a medical marvel, right?,是啊 帮我们治尿路感染-That's true. -They, like, cure our UTIs.,确实如此 我们需要他们-That is true. -Right? We need them.,不用谢 他们为我们战斗 我们也该为他们战斗-Yeah, you're welcome. -They fight for us, we should fight for them.,那么...So...,你说你很快就要离开镇子了 对吧？You said you're leaving town really soon, right?,还有二十二天 搞什么！就这么决定了？-Twenty-two days. -Okay, shit! It's like that?,非要倒计时吗？这么迫不及待？You have to do a countdown? You're just so in a rush?,对啊 我是说...Oh, yeah. I mean...,这地方有样东西我真会想念There is one thing I'll really miss about this place.,她的头发开始化了Her hair is starting to melt.,这会毁了这个惊喜It's going to ruin the surprise.,看着像只绵羊That looks like a sheep.,我弄了一个小时Took me an hour.,她马上就来She'll be here soon.,听我说No, so listen:,我有个叔叔 是我阿姨嫁的那个I had a uncle, 'cause my aunt married this guy,后来他们离婚了 但他养了只豚鼠but then they got divorced, but he had a guinea pig.,他在宠物店买的The PetSmart that he bought it from,,他...她有个孩子 给了我这些药he had-- she had a kid, and the kid gave me the drugs.,就是个陌生人咯Uh, so, a literal stranger.,不是 我刚说了...No, I just told you...,不 听着 他说这很稀有No, listen, he said that they're super rare,从南美来的and that they're from South America.,非洲Africa.,直接嚼着吃？Do you just chew them?,我查一下I'll-I'll look it up.,对 对 这是南美的？Yeah, yeah. These South America?,致幻剂怎么拼？How do you spell "hallucinogenic"?,那是非洲的That's Africa.,不知道 搜蘑菇吧I-I don't know. "Mushrooms.",我觉得你可以直接嚼 或者Um, I think you, like, chew them or, like, maybe,,我听说可以泡茶喝I heard you can make, like, some type of herbal tea with them or some shit.,终于来了！-Finally! -,不 我们不泡茶No, we're not making tea with them.,泡茶会控制不了嗨的程度I heard if you make tea with them, you can't control how high you get.,瞧瞧你-Look at you. -,你在干嘛？- What were you doing? -,现在不行 妈！凯西 我们很忙！-Not now, Mom! -Kathy, we're very busy, huh!,我在嗑药呢 妈！- I'm trying to do drugs, Mom! -,我...好吧 哇 哇 哇-I-I... Okay, wow, wow, wow. Okay. - Oh. Oh.,你开车开成这样I mean, if you're driving like that.,听着 在开始前 要不要先定个应急预案Look, before we get too far into it, should we make, like, an emergency plan,以防出什么事in case, in case anything bad happens?,不！不会出事的No! Nothing bad is gonna happen.,这就是蘑菇的意义所在That's, like, the whole point of shrooms.,吃蘑菇从来不会出事Nothing bad happens on shrooms.,万一有人嗨过头说了什么混账话What if one of us, like, gets too high and, like, says something fucked-up,永远改变了我们的友情怎么办and it, like, changes the fabric of our friendship forever?,十个！两个半- Um, ten! - Two point five.,别吃整袋 太多了No, not the whole bag. That-that's way too many.,所以你得增肥That's why you gotta get your weight up.,敬艾利特To Elliott.,你这老混蛋！-You old bitch! -,愿你今晚体验到 我不知道May you experience a fucking, I don't know, like,.
    什么新的意识层面a new level of consciousness or some shit tonight.,嗯Mm.,罗 罗- Ro. -Ro.,天啊 你打嗝了Oh, my God. -You're burping.,天啊 我还以为我们要…-Oh, my God! - I thought we were...,你们不想赶快到那吗 太…-Don't you guys want to get there? -That's so...,想 但是… 好 一二三-Yes, but... -All right, one, two, three.,来吧 来吧-Let's go, let's go. -Mm.,干 干 干 我做不到-Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug. -I can't do it.,一口干 一口干 太难喝了-Chug it, chug it, chug it, chug it, chug it, chug it, chug it, chug it. - It's so bad!,一口干 一口干Chug it, chug it, chug it, chug it, chug it.,我有点害怕Oh, I'm scared.,你害怕吗 不 其实我有点…- Like, are you? - No, actually, I'm a little--,我也有点害怕-I'm a little scared, too. -,我反而不怕I'm weirdly not.,啊- Oh! -,那是什么鬼声音 呃…-What the fuck was that? - Um...,好吧 呃… 我得给妈妈打电话 这里有熊-Okay, um... -I feel like I need to call my mom. -There are bears here.,安静 闭嘴 我妈妈说过-Let-let... Shh. Shut up. -My mom told me.,我们聊点正常的事吧Let's just be normal, guys, and talk about something-something normal.,随便什么事 聊点正常的-Something... Something. -Let's just talk about something normal.,埃利特 你能说说你的理想和梦想吗Um, can you, like, talk about your hopes and dreams or something, Elliott, please?,我的理想和梦想？没错-My hopes and dreams? -Yes.,对 说说理想和梦想 行行行- Fucking yes. Hopes and dreams. -Word, word.,我有理想和梦想 好吧 嗯哼-I've got hopes and dreams. Okay. - Mm-hmm.,嗯…Well...,我…我很兴奋 因为我的人生终于要开始了I-I'm... I'm just excited that my life is, like, finally about to start.,呃…我不知道 尽管这个世界Um... I don't know. Even though the world is, like,,正在燃烧 充满无知的种族主义者literally on fire and... full of uneducated racists,,但我还是在努力保持希望I'm just, like, trying to force myself to have hope.,搬去多伦多 住在城市里And I just feel like moving to Toronto and, like, living in the city,去上学 一切都感觉很对and going to school, like, it all just feels right, you know?,虽然我非常尊重我的祖先Ugh, like, mad respect to my ancestors,,但我不想成为第三代…but I do not want to be a third-generation--,我不能成为第三代蔓越莓农I can't be a third-generation cranberry farmer and, like,,住在只有300人的小镇live in a town with 300 people.,每次这么说我都很愧疚 但是And I always feel bad every time I say that, but it's, like,,我充满活力 充满热情-I've got energy, I've got hype. -,这个世界…世界就是我们的囊中之物Like, the world... the world is literally our fucking oyster.,我们得好好活着 懂吗Like, we've got to live. You know what I mean?,是啊Yeah.,我的天…Holy shi...,天啊-Oh, my God. -,你在嗨吗 你们都在嗨吗Are you tripping? Are you guys tripping?,我不知道I don't know.,我想摇摆 我想摇摆I feel like grooving, man. I feel like grooving.,搞什么 露…露西What the fuck? Ru... Ruthie?,天啊 嗷嗷- Oh, my God. - Ooh, ooh, ooh.,罗Ro!,嗷嗷嗷嗷Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.,他们想摇摆 天哪 喔-They feel like grooving, man. Wow. - Whoo!,喔Whoo.,我什么感觉都没有I don't feel anything.,你知道 因为你对药物耐受差 什么鬼-You know, it's 'cause you don't tolerate drugs well. -What the fuck?!,嘿 怪胎 你是谁-Hey, freak. -Who are you?,天啊Oh, my God!,这是莫德岛This is Maude Island.,天啊 我以前超爱这里My God, I used to love this place.,可惜被某个混蛋富豪全买下了Damn, it's a shame some dickhead rich guy bought it all up.,太糟了That sucks.,哦 对对对对对Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.,对 太对了Oh, yes. Oh, yes.,天啊 我好想念化学品 嗯Oh, my God, I miss chemicals. Mmm.,你他妈…是谁Who the fuck... are you?,你从哪来的Where did you come from?,你说啊 是你吃了蘑菇把我召唤来的You tell me. You're the one that took a bunch of mushrooms and summoned me here.,你是我爸派来的吗Do you work for my dad?,他派你来监视我Did he send you here to spy on me?,这太像他的作风了That is so something he would do.,有趣 但不是That's funny. But no.,上帝？God?,不知道该怎么说I don't know how to say this.,对Yes.,埃利特 拜托-Elliott, come on. -,老兄 我就是你Dude, I'm you.,我是…39岁的你Well, I'm... I'm 39-year-old you.,什么 怎么了-What? -What's up?,什么鬼…你在说什么What the f... What are you talking about?,你是我 去你的 什么You're me? Fuck off. What?,你去你的 你的牙齿-You fuck off. -Your teeth.,那不是我的牙齿 怎么了 我的牙齿怎么了-Those aren't my teeth. -So? What about my teeth? What?,你牙齿有缝 我牙齿没缝There's a fucking gap in your teeth. I don't have a gap in my teeth.,是啊 去你的 戴好你的牙套Yeah, dude, fuck you. Wear your retainer.,还有你的头发 又干又黑And your hair. It's so dry and it's dark.,慢着 你还有刘海-Take it easy. -You have bangs.,我没有刘海 我也不打算I don't have bangs, I have no plan,留刘海 冷静点 贱人 首先…-on getting bangs. -Take it easy, bitch. First of all...,你的胸还下垂 我的胸才不下垂And your boobs are saggy. My boobs aren't saggy.,你根本看不到我的胸Okay, you can't even see my boobs.,我看不出来 天啊-I don't see it. -Oh, my God.,忘了我以前有多迟钝Forgot how fucking dense I was.,让我给你看点东西Let me show you something.,呃…这个…Um, this...,对吧 九岁时Right? Nine years old.,从拖拉机上摔到坏栅栏上Falling off that tractor onto the broken fence.,疼死了Hurt like hell.,左胸比右胸小一号Left boob-- one cup smaller than the right.,而且不And, uh, no.,它永远也长不到右边那么大 但说实话It never catches up to the right, but, honestly,,你会习惯的 没关系you get used to it and it's okay.,男人看不出来 女人能看出来 但是…Guys can't really tell. Girls can, but...,好 还有 呃 好Okay, more. Um, okay.......